Okay, let's be honest here (says the man who writes a quasi-anonymous blog). Can we please have a show of hands of those who have ever mistakenly sent out an embarrassing e-mail? Oh, come now, we can do better than that. You there! Yes, you, the woman with the cool-looking glasses hiding behind her laptop screen eating that … Continue reading Care For Some Ketchup With That Crow?
My wife doesn't seem to appreciate my songwriting abilities, specifically the most recent one titled "Medicated Shampoo Wednesday."¹ She thinks even less of its companion piece, "Medicated Shampoo Saturday," which in fact is actually the same exact song performed on, you guessed it, Saturday. Like other artists since the beginning of time, I suffer through spoken and unspoken … Continue reading The Tin Ear
I've been thinking quite a bit about perfection lately. After unconditonal love, security, and happiness, I believe it is one of the most illusive of desires. Perfection can only really be a singular attribute. It is usually noticeable by one characteristic: how something is done by someone else. We will occasionally use the word in a sweeping way to describe an individual in … Continue reading Arc of a Diver
After nearly seven months, we are still undergoing a bit of culture shock with the driving habits of Floridians. To put it mildly, the roads and highways here are a bit like the prairies of the wild, wild west. I'm now so used to being followed within an inch or two by other cars that I'm … Continue reading Honk or I’ll Shoot!
Hillary has a Gate again. This current one is about emails. Back in the nineties she had one regarding missing files. Chris had a Gate last year dealing with bridges. In looking up previous Gates, I discovered that even Justin and Janet had one when Janet's breast accidentally was exposed on live television. So many people, it … Continue reading Gate Envy
One of the gravest of concerns I had prior to retiring was whether my belly and bank account would each meander in an inverse direction from the other. Just to be clear, I am speaking of a fat belly and a thin bank balance. It therefore came as somewhat of a surprise yesterday to learn that I … Continue reading Wine, Martinis, Popcorn, M&M’s, and… Weight-Loss?
I discovered this week how feeble my skills apparently are with office automation software when I was asked to take a proprietary test given by a local employment agency. They wanted to determine my office "bones," if you will. The results were less than stellar. I have never operated under any delusions of grandeur in regard to … Continue reading Epic Fail
We see them on the sides of roadways, interstates, under bridges, and at dangerous intersections. They are those plastic memorials to remember those killed in an accident. Each are constructed to be weather-proof so that they can withstand the punishment of a hard rain or snowstorm. I often look at them as I drive swiftly by, wondering more … Continue reading Dignity in the Eye of the Beholder
I no sooner wrote my previous posting about looking forward to a tax refund, then I was greeted 24 hours later with news from our accountant. It appears that my lovely wife's 2014 income far exceeded the good accountant's "conservative" expectations for estimated taxes she paid, and we now have a sizable tax bill owed to Uncle … Continue reading The Price of Success