So what’s considered a luxury vs. a necessity at the moment?
I haven’t gotten a haircut in about eight weeks. Unlike those freewheeling cats up in Georgia, Florida remains, ahem, cautious, and is keeping its salons and barber shops closed for the moment. I certainly could use a good shearing, but I admit to being perversely curious about what I’ll look like in six months by not getting one. Perhaps my Grizzly Adams moment has finally arrived.
The primary motivation continues to be that I don’t want to be in proximity to anyone. “Social distancing” is way too polite a term for how I feel about being close to someone who is not my wife; it’s more like “get the hell away from me.” The thought of being near someone cutting my hair, who previously finished cutting someone else’s hair, and someone before that, and someone even BEFORE THAT… is just too nightmarish for me to contemplate.
Bottom line? I could care less how I look over the next year. When they finally develop a vaccine is when I once again can return to being Paul Newman.
Source: Pinterest
But what about medical visits which thankfully have nothing to do with COVID-19? Do we keep those appointments?
A friend of mine wrote me recently that he canceled a scheduled appointment with his ophthalmologist. He wasn’t happy about “someone leaning in close, breathing from 1 foot away while making me lean against a machine with my forehead, my eyes wide open, while being asked ‘which one is better, number 1, or number 2? Number 1, number 2? One? Two?’” I can’t say I blame him for canceling. (Hi, A).
During the last few weeks, Gorgeous and I decided to keep to a handful of previously-scheduled doctor appointments, which also included a joint visit to a Quest lab for blood tests. On arrival at every clinic, we’ve encountered “Checkpoint Charlie-like” sentries armed with thermometer guns and holding clipboards containing a series of questions about our personal habits, living arrangements, travel schedules, and the approximate number of sneezes emitted in the preceding 24 hour period. I suspect hardened police detectives would blush at the answers we’ve been asked to provide.
These have all been for check-ups, mostly for the purpose of preserving another 12 months of medication renewal. In spite of the advances (and all-out promotion, I should add) of telemedicine apps, doctors still want patients to come in for annual exams. COVID-19 isn’t changing this practice much, at least where we live here in north Florida.
To their credit, each medical clinic we’ve visited are hyper-vigilant about their staff all wearing masks, staying as distant from patients as possible, and having a constant routine of wiping down surfaces. That was at least somewhat reassuring.
So, all good right? Done for another year!
And then... an upper molar of mine started to become very painful. It must have become jealous of all of the attention other parts of my body has been receiving. You know, the older one gets the lonelier you can become.
After a few days of treating the tooth pain with OTC pain killers to no avail, and Gorgeous quickly tiring of my request for Gerber-quality consistency with each entree put in front of me, I finally relented and called the dentist.
Source: Gerber.com
My timing couldn’t have been more fortuitous. Though Florida’s earlier stay-at-home order allowed for dentists to treat emergencies, the recent relaxation of that same order also allows them to open up their practices again. This literally means that I can go back to the beach and see a dentist, all in the same day if I want. Is this a great state or what?
The receptionist said I was one of the first people to call since the relaxation, and she immediately set up an appointment for me to come in for an examination.
I now was subjecting myself to the same treatment with my dentist that my friend successfully avoided with his ophthalmologist.
Only a few weeks earlier our GP looked down my throat as far away as his arm would allow; I swear he even dispensed with asking me to say “ah.” But there’s no taking shortcuts in a dental examination. It’s a short-term form of intimacy that both parties would just as soon forget the moment it’s over. Please, no need to say you’ll call me in the morning. I’d really rather you not.
I arrived at the dental office at the appointed hour, allowed them to put a thermometer gun to my head (now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write), and was given clearance to be taken back to the examination chair. Within minutes both the dentist and his assistant arrived wearing impressive-looking PPE: in particular a rather sporty-looking plastic face shield on both of them. I thought these things were hard to get! Perhaps it does pay to live in a Republican-controlled state.
The dentist poked the general area in which I was feeling pain until he hit the magic place. “Ah,” I moaned (please, get your mind out of the gutter). At least this time I finally got to say “ah”; except in this instance it hurt like hell to do so. And just to make sure that he had the right tooth, the good doctor poked it three more times with two different instruments for good measure.
“Number two,” he remarked to the assistant.
“We’ll have to refer you to an endodonist. You need a root canal. I do them here, but not with upper molars, so this needs to be done correctly.” That was an interesting admittance.
Okay, great. Yet another doctor.
His staff set up an appointment with an endodonist whom Gorgeous had seen only a few months before. Thankfully, it’s someone listed as a network provider in our dental insurance coverage (note to international readers: a fun little routine we go through here, huh?). As a token of my dentist’s kindness, he gave me a prescription for a few Tylenol 3 so that I’d survive the couple of days I had to wait before the procedure.
I’ll spare you the blow-by-blow of the actual root canal, but suffice to say that I endured yet another thermometer gun, more questions about my personal life, and two PPE-draped dental professionals yet again within inches of my face. The process lasted for about an hour and 15 minutes. Did you know upper molars have three roots? Well, you do now. You’re welcome.
So as of today, all of my meds are renewed for the next 12 months; my GP says my cholesterol is a little high, but within a safe range; an ultrasound taken by my urologist shows no sign of kidney stones; and my painful tooth is now but an anecdote for a blog post. All good news, and I am grateful for the luxury of having access to good doctors and essential healthcare.
My advice to you? Definitely stay away from me because I seriously have not been social distancing. But do stay safe out there.
Until next time…
Snakes in the Grass 
Glad you are good for another 12 months or so.
Wishing you and Gorgeous continued good health!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Donna!
LikeLike
Excellent and hilarious post, Marty. I don’t usually read posts to my husband, but I kept laughing and it didn’t seem fair not to share! Very glad you’re taking things seriously and that you’re all set for 12 months. Keep writing! Btw, when is it that you’re going to start looking like Paul Newman?!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad to hear you shared this with hubby, Jane! We have to laugh, otherwise we’ll cry our eyes out.
The Paul Newman look is set to return sometime in 2023 at this point! 😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have my annual check up next week. I’m curious what to expect. I have to wait in the car and call them to tell them I’m here. They will tell me what room to go to. This will be interesting. Anything that used to take 5 minutes now takes an hour. Glad you’re all healthy now!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Watch out for the Checkpoint Charlies, Kate. I bet you’ll still encounter them! 😉 Good luck.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yikes! I have pretty good teeth but have experienced some gum sensitivity lately. After reading this, I think I’ll keep it to myself as long as possible. I’m glad it all worked out for you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Janis, I actually started feeling the sensitivity back around the first of the year. I babied it for weeks with occasional doses of ibuprofen, which settled it down each time. But when it finally decided to ignore my babying I knew I was in trouble! Get some sensitivity toothpaste and baby those gums for as long as you can. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Case by case and I haven’t looked into your mouth and at your teeth……….we are friends, although we do have our boundaries. 🙂 Your comment made me wonder about the concept of grinding and clenching your teeth, especially during these trying times. If you have generally good teeth, grinding and clenching is often the culprit. You may have a mouth guard and stopped wearing it? Even just being conscious of finding yourself clenching throughout the day can make a difference. Then you can try to relax your jaw. You can look up a term called “abfraction” which often happens along the gum line, causing increased sensitivity. And, yes, like Marty says, sensitivity toothpaste. I use Sensodyne on purpose versus other toothpastes. (I do not make any $$ from the company) Too long a story for here. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks for the mention…
***I happen to live in Georgia***
We do love our attention.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Actually, I kind of thought dentists would come by this new ‘normal’ more naturally as they have been using gloves, goggles and in some procedural cases even face shields for some time now.
Not that that makes going to the dentist any easier pre, during or post COVID
😦
Very happy to hear you guys are still cooped up and going crazy otherwise! HA!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My dentist is like that.
Yep, I live in Georgia too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Stay safe, Kenneth!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, you stay safe as well
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re probably right about all the dental gear, Laura. I just never really paid much attention to it because I’m in my own metaphorical fetal position while I’m in that chair. 😄
LikeLike
In late March, my husband and I were on day 18 of our own quarantine at home to be safe. (Arizona) Ken (Dear Husband) got a sudden large floater with strange “lights” in his eye.I am a retired Nurse.I know that can be.. just a floater..OR.. a detached retina! Can’t tell without an exam.We got him into our opthamologist who is much YOUNGER THAN US, and NO MASK– he got up close and personal to examine Ken,breathed in Ken’s face.. and determined just a large floater. I was VERY annoyed at no mask.Fast forward:LAST WEEK Ken got the SAME SYMPTOMS in the other eye.I called for the appt this time (Nurse Ratchett) and asked “Are your staff now wearing masks and providing social distancing?????? “Yes.” was the reply.He had to go in, and yes,everyone was on board this time.These are scary times. We’re trying to stay safe.I think the small medical offices are nw on board.. ..one can hope! Oh, it was also just a floater, not retinal problem.Yay. I rescheduled my own derm appt for July.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Scary times indeed, Madeline! By late March you would have figured the YOUNG ophthalmologist’s practice would have been more up with the distancing protocols. So glad Ken’s issue is only that floater and nothing more serious.
Curiously, the one appointment we both still need to make is with a dermatologist. But (a) we only have one on paper, and (2) we’re both too skittish to call that hypothetical office to make an appointment. Eh, so what’s a little more sun exposure for a few more months? 🙄
Many thanks for reading.
LikeLike
The medical appointments seem to be all over the board. In April, my husband’s PC called and moved his April appointment to September. His orthopedic called and rescheduled this week while my opthalmologist has been missing in action except for renewing prescriptions. I’m curious, but not that curious to make an appointment, to see what the dental industry does because let’s face it, they looked like they were from Star Trek before this happened. Glad you are feeling better. Stay safe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you’re right, Judy. Everything medical is in a state of flux right now. We both really need to see a dermatologist, but still haven’t made an appointment with one since we moved here. It remains very low on our list of priorities. At least your ophthalmologist is renewing prescriptions. You stay safe too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fortunately, my annual visits were just prior to all the shutdowns. I do have a chiropractor appointment next week that I’m pretty sure won’t be cancelled. She was very vigilant 8 weeks ago when I went so I feel confident it will be fine. I would love a haircut – 10 weeks for me – but I can handle a little more length without a problem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny you should mention the chiropractor. I have one also, whom I see only a handful of times a year. I thought about his practice as I was writing this, since literally they have to have their hands on you all the time to give a treatment. For now, I don’t feel a need to see him. But I realize for some people it’s needed to ease constant pain. I feel for them for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yea, I could probably get by without going as well. But I do go regularly and it does seem to help with my vertigo, so I hate to miss it. Even if she tells me I’m fine, it’s worth going. She’s real picky in terms of scents and germs anyway, so I know she’ll be safe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have several appointments this month that, at one time, seemed so far off in the future. Now it seems like a cluster of risk. Good to hear you had good PPE experiences with yours.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good luck with your upcoming appointments, Tracey. Most of the apprehension I felt was anticipatory, not actually while I was at the clinics; if that’s any help anyway.
LikeLike
You’re the second person I know who has had a root canal during this time of self-quarantining. This, of course, means you’re one lucky duck– but it is interesting to learn about how these procedures are going on. I cancelled all my doc appointments until next fall, so *fingers crossed* I’ll survive in one piece until then. Like they used to say, life’s a beach. For you literally of course.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lucky duck indeed, Amy. It was a disheartening blow to get that tooth pain when I literally had just completed all of my doctor visit requirements. I can’t get a test, but I’m being tested in other ways, I guess. Stay well…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Marty, Even Paul Newman would not look like Paul Newman two months into a Pandemic.
Darn, on the dental pain. You may have heard of the phrase “universal precautions.” Every patient is treated as if infected and of course, we don’t infect the patient. I have always felt we were Uber cautious in the dental environment and we should be.
It sounds like you received good advice, great care and you are back on the road again for another twelve months, or 10,000 kilometres, whichever comes first. Take care!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Erica!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m going to re-use the Checkpoint-Charlie reference for sure. I took my SIL for her annual (doctors here opened back up this week), and yes, that is exactly how it was. Also, we were yelled at to “stay on the X” when we got off the elevator to leave, but the checkpoint was active with incoming. We had to wait in line to leave the building! Ah well, a learning experience for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ugh, you were yelled at? Well that’s certainly not a bedside manner! It was good of you to accompany your SIL, though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Mr. Newman, Now all you need is a negative Covid test.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, man, right you are, Joe. But I live in Florida. So no need for one! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! I forgot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I broke one of my front teeth at Easter, but our rules here i the UK mean I can’t see a dentist until who knows when.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, that was a hard comment for me to “like” just now! Ugh, I hope you can get in to have it fixed soon.
LikeLike
Good to know the docs were doing everything in their power to keep you safe. My annual dental checkup has been cancelled until further notice, but I do have an eye dr. visit scheduled for the end of May. Not sure how I feel about that after hearing the virus can enter through the eyes. 😳
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t blame you. Why push it? Since I posted this, my regular dentist called because now they want to re-do the crown under which the root canal was performed. I’m in no pain at all at the moment, and I’m inclined to just wait on that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good idea!
LikeLike
Crikey! Root canal at a time like this? You’ve my sympathies. Not a fun experience at the best of times, but this must’ve made it positively surreal. Glad you’re both all squared away medically for a while now. I’ve a surgical follow-up due shortly, but expect it’ll be postponed or be moved online. My surgeon is a self-confessed techno-numpty, so that’ll be an entertaining experience for us both. I’m reasonably adept now having had a couple of virtual physio appointments, but at least we’ll not have to remember to avoid shaking hands (which we failed at the last time we met) 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I seem to have gotten past all this nonsense. Though, I did have to return to the my original dentist once again for him to look over the crown (all clear) and put in a filling over the root canal work. Ugh. If I get through all this closeness somehow, it’ll be a miracle.
I do hope you can delay your own follow-up if possible. And, yes, no hand-shaking. Head nodding only!
LikeLike
I went to have a clean the other day. No taking temperature though I had to gargle a mouthwash for 20 seconds before he got close.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, yes. Mouthwash. Yet another product that’s never missing from the shelf these days.
LikeLiked by 1 person