Can I Get an ‘Amen Please?


So good things can happen in divorce after all.  One very tough lesson both in my career and certainly so far in retirement has been that absolutely nothing happens when you hope it will.   Whether it’s been a raise, a promotion, a new job, or an early retirement offer, I have consistently had to experience an episodic delay for that elusive goal at the finish line. Each. Thing. Just. Takes. So. Long.¹

Amazingly, your humble blogger finally caught a break this weekend.  Like tumbling blocks, my earlier post regarding my ex-wife’s portion of my retirement annuity knocked over related matters into additional activity.  Instead of it simply being a one-off action, we decided to take the bull by the horns (just for clarification, I’m speaking metaphorically of my retirement annuity and not any individual person), and just see if we can perhaps speed things to a final negotiation over her alimony payment.  Prior to this, it had been agreed that we would wait till this coming December to start those talks.

But beginning last Thursday evening, when I first queried my ex’s attorney about negotiating earlier, and well into late last evening when we traded e-mails that looked as if an agreement might turn out to be futile, we nonetheless all woke up this morning with compromise in our hearts.  Or maybe we were just sick and tired of each other.  Either way, I have achieved a final accord with my ex that completes our alimony struggle.  We agree on one set amount from now through December, and then starting in January we have a new, final amount that lasts forever or until she gets married.

I now repeat my earlier request to the single, eligible bachelors out there who have an income and a pulse: please contact me if you are looking for an available, single woman.

I remarked to a friend earlier today that I feel as if my retirement is truly beginning now. Since I retired from my career last August, the uncertainty about my annuity and my ex’s portion of it, plus the final alimony amount, has been hanging over me.  Any action I take, whether it’s been one of those occasional toe-dips in looking for a part-time job, or perhaps just posting a Facebook picture of myself relaxing on the beach, has had an edge of incompleteness to it because everything is still somehow connected to my not having those details finalized.   Now it is indeed final, and things seem to be more grounded in my mind.

This milestone also has an impact on my blogging life.  With the negotiations finally behind me, I am not so concerned about my ex discovering this blog.  I’d still prefer that she not, but I can live with it if she does.  Starting with my very next posting, I can “unmask” myself a bit and write a little more detail about my life and career.  I will, however, take the very sage advice of fellow bloggers Heather B. Costa, Kate Loveton, and Kong’s Conservative Komments and keep most of my identity private except to friends who already know me and are regular readers.  But for now, feel free to call me Marty.  I’ll even still answer to Snakes.

Gorgeous and I will celebrate this evening with a cocktail and dinner at a nearby ocean side tavern.  If you’re there too, drinks are on me.

¹   My thanks to “A” for teaching me that crazy syntax.  


15 thoughts on “Can I Get an ‘Amen Please?

  1. I think the fact that everyone woke up with “compromise in their hearts” rather than “a plan to annihilate any further hope for oxygen where the ex lives” is a thumbs up all around. It has got to be a great relief to have sorted through this bit of the financial picture. Congratulations.
    I shall raise a glass in honor of peace and restful nite’s sleep hereafter.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congrats! Sounds like without realizing it you’ve picked up side job – – marrying off your ex! ^_^I

    But seriously, being in limbo sucks so I’m glad you have a sense of closure. Kudos to the current Mrs Marty for being so patient. Good luck to you all!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds like an immense relief, and a new wave of embracing life with a spirit that is a bit more free, and calm, and ready for the next chapter of retirement. Congrats on marking that one off the list. Always good to move forward, instead of being shackled to the past. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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